Another Proclamation

I wanna be up in the clouds with my head

Blown around by coarse and gentle winds instead

Separated and strewn over land and sea

Up to and thru the sky's city

Being and feeling everything at once

To be out of this trap - finding a response

Then shooting back down, a burning meteor

To dance upon Earth's magnetic interior

All I want is my journey to be realized

Something to aspire for and not be compromised

But when others fail to comprehend or rely

Inspiration to articulate does nothing but die

- -

Still haven't said it out loud. I just told my mom most everything I was feeling, and she got it. I sat in a courtyard I knew existed, but had never been to. I've had a headache ever since, and needless to say, my eyes and nose could have filled an olympic sized pool. She was sweet about it, really...now she won't be too surprised when she sees my lacking grades for this semester. No Yale MFA for me, it seems. Not that I was looking for an MFA in the first place.

Missing myself.

Missing people.

Missing motivation.

Missing fire.

Missing enthusiasm

Missing desire.

Missing concern.

Missing fear.

M-I-S-S-I-N-G : the most active thing I've done all year.

A gear has to shift, I know.

I need to talk.

I need to say it out loud.

I don't need polish, I just need a better sightline.

Raise the bar for more light to discover a lifeline

Light to see, feel, breathe, energize

Regrouping myself, putting myself in the right compartments for the right time and place.

I want the traffic horns.

To be surrounded by strangers

Who want different things

Who I can someday meet

If they walk with me, crying on the street

Maybe they'll stop a beat -

A measure in response.

...I want what everyone wants.

...

my bed is like a coffin without walls

I lie with my hands on my chest

the covers around me like a shrinking cucoon

electric fan blows dust on my face

cause I like to have cold ears like the man in the moon.

going thru just another reality

just as everyone expects of me

my passion becomes my obligation

feeling trapped by the standards

that have taken the space of creation

while giving and taking empty regards

which stump my growth's stimulation

why is something so natural a challenge?

how can my heart pump courage?

where can my brain work in balance?

Response:

when the soul feels weak

one of the outsiders - always there to speak

one is constantly there

to calm, to soothe, to repair

to find the pieces overlooked or lost

somehow making them stronger - embossed

they let me find ME

funny how things go

how leaving brings joy and sorrow

tossing everything to and fro

never satisfied, but ere I go

i sit here remembering all

the times i've had a "Hard Fall"

realizing my feelings now - too familiar

to the ones, as I child, I felt - but scarier

the difference now - i am aware

of two lights, so genuine and painless and fair

they set me FREE

funny how things went

the laughter, the tears - never spent

but washing over - never repent!

for i will never 'sorry' for creating either of these 'dents'

so here i am

rhyming to both of your stanzae

i feel like a sham

next to your hands - boy, do i

but the trust i am also feeling,

the hopes, the dreams that are reeling

will get me past the drop off

and to that, i say, "TOWANDA" & "BLECOPH!!!!!!!!"

Done.

how do you respond

when all your wit is gone?

it was just another way to hide.

no sense of humor

the light just hurts my eyes

please tell me it's just a joke of Pride's.

though how is that true

when Apathy takes over

and the Motivation has died?

there was never reason

there's no more rhyme

that i can muster.

Ode to Max - Thanks for The Adventures

Let's go somewhere,

a place with an inspiring, unbroken air.

Let's travel far,

so our home is just memory of the heart.

Let's travel near.

To the things that we hold too dear -

Find the core of their magnetic pull

that unsettles like a shovel, and anchors like an anvil.

In your dreams, be wary of logic.

In your means, go out and frolic.

The sun is your shooting star,

wherever you be,

out Where The Wild Things Are.

Thanks for including me.

Engulfified

I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE

I'M JUST A VULNERABLE SOUL

BUT YOU THINK I LIED...

YOUR EYES PEER INSIDE

I LOSE CONTROL

AND THE SIGHT OF MY GOAL

Dream Catcher,

DO YOU EVER RELEASE?

Insomnia,

WILL YOU EVER CEASE?

Noise,

FIND ME SOME PEACE

FIND IT IN THE SMALLEST CREASE OF THE JOURNEY

I WANT TO LOSE MY MIND

BUT THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING TO REMIND ME,

SOMETHING TO BIND ME TO MY OWN MORTALITY

bum bum bududududum dum...

my imagination Teases me

as chords from a Friend trigger my senses

the lights Dazzle my eyes

and in the entrance, something Switches

turning up the volume of Who I Am

as You sit there and scan

to get here I Ran